Ambivalence

Evacuation

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 14:52:27 GMT

Hi everyone...

If you are planning a game of "Never Have I Ever" anytime soon, be sure to count me in. I've got a great one..."I've never been evacuated from a country undergoing civil unrest." Yes, we were evacuated yesterday to South Africa, and are going to be here for at least a week. It was absolutely sudden. They sent a text on Wednesday evening, saying to pack all our bags, and then we flew out of our site on Friday. I still haven't processed it, because we still had so many plans for the next few months, and now it's all over. There is a slight possibility we can continue on with the Peace Corps, but it is looking quite slim. If we aren't able to do that, we have to figure out what comes next. I'll let you know. Thanks for the support!

--Evan

Crisis Update

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 14:50:05 GMT

Hi everyone!
Here is an overview of the events of the last month or so. Those of you who read Ronda's updates have a much more detailed picture of the situation (of course), but as I prefer the big picture, I will paraphrase here.
So, in the middle of January I travelled from our site to the capital, Tana, for medical reasons. I expected to be back in about a week. While I was there, however, things got a bit heated, politically speaking. To put things chronologically, what happened was this: the current president, Marc Ravalomanana, who came to power in 2002 after a contested election that in itself caused a political crisis, and then was re-elected for a second term, did the following things: He bought a 60 million dollar jet for his own use with money from the national budget (and this in a country that is among the 10 poorest in the world), he agreed to lease half of the arable land in Madagascar to the Daewoo Corporation of South Korea, who was going to plant maize for fuel, and he also happens to own a very large number of the industries in the country and uses his position to make conditions unfavorable for his competitors. His party, TIM, which stands for 'I Love Madagascar' in Malagasy, is almost the only viable political party in the country, and for example in the two municipalities in which we have lived, the mayors are both in this party and were the only candidates running for office! It is only in the capital, Tana, that there was serious opposition to his party. The mayor until last year was a member of TIM, but lost his position to Andry Rajoelina, who has his own party, TGV (I forget what that stands for, but it's something along the lines of 'Young Malagasy ready for change'.
Andry was a strong critic of Marc and TIM, and for example announced after taking office that his predecessor had left the city budget with a huge debt and no resources. Things came to a head at the end of 2008, when Andry broadcast an old interview with the former president of Madagascar, Didier Ratsiraka, who is in exile in France. This angered Marc, who proceeded to shut down Andry's TV station. (Oh, I forgot to mention that Andry started his career as a DJ/events co-ordinator and now owns a TV station, and Marc started his career as a yoghurt maker/delivery-boy and now is a tycoon.)
So, the closure of his radio station, as well as the above-mentioned facts about Marc, angered Andry, and he decided to organise a public show of opposition to Marc. He planned a number of demonstrations in the downtown area of Tana, and decided to use the color orange for his movement, taking that from the Ukranian Orange Revolution. He had a few demonstrations, and then, about one week after I arrived in Tana, he had a really big one, and things got a little out of hand. First, a large crowd went to the national radio station and burned it to the ground, then they went on the rampage, looting and burning various establishments. The principal targets were TIKO, Marc's dairy company, and Magro, a supermarket that Marc owns, but there were a number of other businesses affected. The activity soon spread beyond Tana, to other cities across the island, including our very own site, Antalaha. Ronda was a direct witness to the action, as she had taken refuge in the pharmacy of Marie-Helene, the woman with whom we work closely. The pharmacy happens to be directly across the street from the local TIKO, and so Ronda saw a mob gather and loot the place, stealing everything from the ice cream and milk to the freezers, and then set fire to the building. Unfortunately, a small shop next door which is totally unrelated to TIKO was also looted. Luckily the pharmacy was not attacked and Ronda was safe.
During the burning of the radio station several people were shot by guards, and during the looting and burning, some people were burned to death (presumably looters).
It was said that these incidences of looting and burning were spontaneous but that's ridiculous. They were obviously planned by somebody, but nobody knows who it was exactly.
The nationwide unrest lasted only a day or two, but then things took a turn for the interesting. Andry announced that he would step in as the new president of a transition government, in preparation for elections at some point in the future. This sounded a bit absurd, but he was supported by a very large crowd of people. He called for daily demonstrations downtown. He also refused to meet with Marc until certain demands were met, including the prosecution of the guards who had shot the protestors. For his part, Marc basically did not at all respond to any of the concerns which precipitated the whole situation, and simply repeated that he was the president according to the constitution and that was that.
The demonstrations continued for the next few weeks, and Andry began to announce the ministers he had chosen for his transition government. During one of the demonstrations, he decided to go with the large crowd to take the presidential palace. They marched over there, and demanded to be let in. The military who were guarding the palace of course wouldn't let them, and suddenly shots were fired and several people were dead. Nobody knows who actually fired the shots, whether the military or supposed snipers who were supposed to be hiding in surrounding buildings. The crowd dispersed in fear.
A few days after that, Andry and his ministers decided to go with the crowd to take over some of the ministries. For a few days they were unable to, but finally, somehow, they succeeded in taking four of the ministries. The next day, however, Marc's government took them back.
The two were supposed to meet this past week, but evidently Marc didn't show up and sent a letter excusing himself which arrived at the end of the meeting time.
So, because of all these events, I found that I was not allowed to leave the capital to come back to Antalaha. For the first two weeks I was confined to the house that volunteers stay at when in the capital, and then the Peace Corps decided to consolidate the majority of volunteers, so we were taken to the Peace Corps Training Site on a lake in the woods, where we stayed for two weeks. I actually enjoyed the time there, because the weather was very nice. This whole time, Ronda was in Antalaha, so we only spoke by phone as much as we could. All the other people at the consolidation site kept saying, 'Oh, I feel so bad for you, it must be so difficult,' etc, but as we were apart for six weeks at a time all of last year, it really wasn't. I took the time to read and practice drawing, and help out in organising the library they have at the training site. Most of the volunteers were in an uncomfortable position, because we didn't know if we would be evacuated or if we would return to site. Finally, I returned to Tana for another week and finally flew back to Antalaha...luckily before I left I had the chance to pick up a huge bag of spices from an Indian spice shop, so our meals will be bearable from now on!!!
So the situation is still unresolved. There has been no improvement in negotiations between the two sides, and no one knows what will happen. There is still a chance we will be evacuated, but perhaps not. Madagascar is a country that adores rumours and gossip, and there is no lack of theories about the situation. Some people say France is orchestrating the whole thing. Some say that it is the ex-president Ratsirika who is controlling Andry. There was even a rumour that Andry was going to arrange to have himself shot and killed to allow Ratsiraka to return to the country!
Hopefully something will develop soon, meanwhile there are sporadic incidents of looting and violence in various locations across the country.
In other news, it was insanely hot in Antalaha between November and February, which was only made worse by the fact that we are not able to have any windows open at night and the house becomes like an oven. Luckily we have electricity so we can run a fan which helps significantly. Happily, now is about the end of the hot season, and the temperature is already noticeably cooler.
The projects I am involved with are as following:
1. We both stopped teaching English at the middle schools, because of reasons I previously elaborated on, and now I am teaching German at the high school, and Ronda is training theEnglish teachers. The German students are light years ahead of the English ones, probably because German is optional unlike English.
2. We both teach at a school located in a village of ex-lepers, which is supposed to be a vocational school to teach students about agriculture and tourism. I teach geography and Ronda teaches English.
3. We have a radio show for teaching English to the community at large, which we plan and produce with a group of students from the high school. It got off to a rocky start, and it leaves much to be desired, but it is fun to produce and the students are learning a lot from it.
4. We have evening adult English classes for beginners and advanced students, and I really enjoy those. We collect money from the adults and use it to buy books for the two local libraries. They have a decent number of books but they are all in French, and the children need to learn to read in Malagasy! So during my extended stay in Tana, I was luckily able to buy about 20 Malagasy books for each library with the funds we had collected!
5. I am working on some translations for CALA, the organisation that was set up to help the leper villages. If you are interested to find out more about them: http://cala-france.asso-web.com/
6. I am planning to write several books in the local dialect, Betsimisaraka, including an English-Betsimisaraka dictionary, a cookbook in Betsimisaraka (they have so many different types of ingredients, but no creativity about putting them together in different ways!), and some books about life skills, such as not pooping on the beach!
7. Speaking of that, we haven't made much progress, but we will be hopefully getting a new site partner, a health volunteer, and maybe we can work on that with him!
8. Hopefully, if we stay, we will live in Tana during the long school holiday, and I will be working with a woman who is involved with solidarity tourism.
I think that's enough activity for now!
I would love to hear from people during this difficult time, so send me a message!

regards,

Evan

Life In Lemurland II

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 14:49:16 GMT

Is it possible you have missed the 100 page long dissertations from Evan? If so, you're in luck...

Hello everyone, it's been quite a while since I last wrote, in part because I have very limited internet access here, but also because we have been rather busy. Also the days seem to pass by very quickly here. That's probably because the sun goes down at about 6 o'clock everyday, and after that, there's not much going on.

When I last wrote, we were about to finish up our training in the high plateau of Madagascar and move to our permanent site on the northeast coast. We did so in late August and have been here for three months already. Our site here is at least somewhat different from the training site, in that the people speak a different dialect, the climate is much warmer, and the people look more African as opposed to the Asian features that the people in the Highlands have. The origin of the Malagasy people is actually a mystery. It is clear that groups came from Indonesia/Malaysia, Africa, and the Middle East, but there is no proof asto when or how they came. The language itself is related to those in Indonesia, and their main staple is rice, which came from that country. The music is sort of a melange of Polynesian and African influences. But each region has its own music, dialect, and culture.
Most important are the 'fady', or taboos. Each village has its own taboos, such as certain sacred places where people are not allowed to go, or certain dietary restrictions.

The city where we are is the vanilla capital of Madagascar, and of the world in fact.
Sometimes you can smell the vanilla in the air. It is really the only thing of importance that this region produces; the second biggest product is cloves. I haven't smelled those yet, as it isn't the season.

There are a few families who run the vanilla business and they live in huge concrete
palaces, while the rest of the population have small wooden or thatch cottages. To put it in perspective, the average person here makes between 40 and 100 dollars per month approximately, (and actually 100 dollars per month is enough to afford the basic nessecities of life) while the vanilla people have enough to own several cars and make regular trips to Europe and send their children to university in France. Our life here is a bit strange for me, because we make about 200 dollars a month, which on one hand is well above the average person here, and well below the rich ones and the foreign tourists, so it's always awkward for us no matter which crowd we hang out with.

I want to say something positive about the people here before I get to the negative stuff, so here are a few positive remarks:

The people here (I am speaking only of the city/region where we live, not neccesarily the other regions of Mada) are quite possibly the least aggressive people I have ever encountered. They stare constantly and the children scream 'Foreigner!' everywhere I go, but that's the extent. I have seen one big argument here so far, and it didn't really escalate into much. I went to see a boxing match, which is a big pasttime here, and most of it consisted of the contestants parading around making motions with their arms and looking
for opponents. The actual matches themselves lasted for about 45 seconds and no one was seriously injured. Compared to the States or Europe it is alot safer, or so it seems at least.

The other nice thing, is the variety of music they listen to. Coming from the States where people's choices in music are almost always determined by geographic location, ethnicity, age, etc., it is always amusing to sit in a taxi and hear a Malagasy song followed by Celine Dion followed by Dolly Parton followed by Beyonce followed by Backstreet Boys. They will seriously listen to any sort of music, although they especially seem to prefer pop music.

Now for the bad things:

I already mentioned the fact that the children constantly scream 'vazaha' (foreigner)
wherever I go, which gets unbearable at times. What's worse, they will say 'Bonjour',
assuming I am French, but they don't actually speak French. They will say Bonsoir in the middle of the day. My new strategy has been to say in Malagasy, 'I don't understand, what does 'bonjour' mean?' after which they either stand there silently or run away crying. It's actually really annoying because the people who don't speak French are the ones who address me in French, but the people who do speak French all want to speak to me in English. Yes, I am here to teach English, but I don't think I have to do it all the time. Part of the reason I came was to practice French. It is interesting to me to see how the language of conversation can be an issue of control between two people. There are certain individuals here who absolutely refuse to speak to me in French, and even when I address them in French, they will respond in English. I am discovering that this is one of my biggest pet peeves in the world. But luckily there are other people with whom I have a more equitable relation
and we will speak English half of the time and French the other half. As for Malagasy, although I find it interesting to be able to speak it, I have decided not to put much effort into improving my ability in that language, because if I end up after two years speaking Malagasy fluently and I lose my other languages I will be rather angry!

I don't remember if I mentioned it before but we live right on the beach, which might sound very dreamy, and it is of course, but there is one drawback. The beach right in front of our house is a minefield of excrement...that's right, poop. It is the public toilet. The section of the city where we live suffers from an extreme lack of latrines. I've been told that it is in part because the area is prone to flooding and the latrines would contaminate the drinking water, but I am beginning to think that is only part of the problem. It has alot to do with the stasis and lack of ambition among the people here. We are trying to put together a latrine-building project, but I am doubtful of the results. To give an example
of the challenges:

We live on a compound which consists of our house and three others. There is an outhouse to be shared among the houses, and it even has a real toilet inside, not just a hole. So of course we were surprised when we saw each of the inhabitants of the house behind us making his/her way slowly toward the beach every day. There is definitely no reason to go to that particular beach other than to poop, because just the smell alone prevents any sort of normal 'beach activity'. Our neighbor, a health volunteer and I, got fed up one day when we saw the old grandmother making her way down the path to the beach and we ran after her. We caught her just as she was crouching down to do her business, and we said, 'Hey, don't do that! It's dirty! There's a toilet for you to use' We figured she had never used a toilet, so we brought her to it and showed her the method of operation. I'm not sure if she has
actually started to use it or not; maybe she just makes her visits to the beach when we aren't looking.

I must say we have had a very warm reception among the community at large, but our principal jobs have been horrible. We are each working at one middle school. The students are terrible, they have no interest in learning English, and to be honest, I don't think there really IS much of a reason for them to care. There are so many more important things for them to learn, such as hygiene, especially dental hygiene (most of them have lost a good number of their teeth) and learning what a toilet is, and learning their own address and what a post office is, etc. It's really a frustrating experience to be sent here to teach them English. On top of that, they have already had two years of English but they don't know a single thing. I don't know how it's possible for them to have gotten through the last two years like that. So, of course as western teachers, our first instinct was to do a thorough review of all the basic things that they are supposed to know by now. That's what caused a huge drama with the adminstration and other English teachers, because we are obligated to follow the national curriculum and not to deviate at all. They have even
planned what we are supposed to teach every week. To give you an idea of how ridiculous
this is, we are supposed to teach the passive voice to students who can not even say how old they are or conjugate in the present tense! The students are also much older than they 'should' be for this level of school, with the average age being about 17 and the oldest students about 21. That means they have had to repeat several grades at least. I hate to call anyone stupid, but it is becoming ever harder to find another word. For example I spent about a month working on just the six words: 'who, what, when, where, how, why', and then gave them a test, which the majority of them failed!

The system of education is partly to blame, because a class here consists mainly of the teacher writing the lesson on the board and the students copying it into their notebooks.
There is very minimal interaction. I try to get the students to make simple decisions using their own brains, but it is futile. The only word I can use to describe the experience is 'robotic'

We were called in to a meeting with the directors and the other English teachers, and the only term I can think of to describe this meeting is 'show trial'. For more than an hour we were reprimanded by everyone about our rebelliousness and refusal to follow the curriculum, while at the same time they refused to answer any of our questions regarding the lack of review in their plan for the year.

In the end, we decided to try to switch schools and we are now in the process of switching to the high school. If all goes well, I will actually be teaching more German than English (don't laugh Sofie Marien), and I figure this is a good thing, because German is totally optional and I think only the relatively motivated students will choose to take it. I will let you know if it is any better to teach over there.

In addition to our main jobs, we have started several secondary projects, one of which is teaching at a village of lepers. Actually we are teaching the children/grandchildren of the lepers, not the lepers themselves. The level of stupidity is even more profound there. For example, I am teaching geography and I tried to explain the concept that geography is the study of the interaction between humans and the earth. I explained that there are people living in hotter climates and they live differently from those living in colder climates.
(Keep in mind this was both in Malagasy and in French, and there was another teacher there to help with communication difficulties) Afterwards, when I asked the students to summarize what we had discussed, one girl wrote: 'There are hot people and cold people'.

We also have a public adult class in the evenings, which is absolutely wonderful. It is more and more obvious that I dislike children and do not want to work with them! We are also producing an English teaching radio show. We are doing this in collaboration with the English club at the high school, which is composed of very motivated students. I am very excited to have opportunities like that, because it certainly would be a lot more difficult to have a radio show in the States or Europe.

To close, I will relate one more incident that I feel is indicative of life here. In
September, I left my mobile phone on the porch table for a minute while I went into the house. When I emerged, the phone was gone. I was very upset, because all the pictures I had taken in Madagascar as well as all my phone numbers were in the phone. After several days of asking around, I decided to put an announcement on the radio, saying that there would be a little reward for any information. The next day, some people came by saying they knew who had the phone. It was a teenage girl who lived in the neighborhood. The girl came along and they all started arguing. Finally the girl admitted that she had taken the phone and that she had hidden it in a sack of rice. During this whole exchange people started coming from every direction to watch the spectacle. By the end there were at least fifty people in our yard encircling us. Finally we all went to the girl's house, Ronda, me, the
girl, and the fifty other people, and she retrieved the phone. I said to her in front of everyone, 'Please tell me how to use a mobile phone without a charger?' and everyone started laughing. She looked pretty ashamed so I figured that was enough punishment, and we returned to our house, along with everyone else from the neighborhood. Finally we got everyone to disperse and I was able to charge the phone and take a look at it. She had only been able to use the phone for two days until it ran out of power, but in that time she had managed to erase all my pictures and numbers and use all my credit to find a 'correspondant' in France.

To sum up, here is an imprompto list of the things I miss the most:
1. hot showers
2. brussels sprouts
3. blueberries
4. cinemas
5. autumn leaves
6. pumpkin/sweet potato pie
7. cheap internet access
8. hot showers

Lots of love to all,
Evan

Life In Lemurland I

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 14:48:08 GMT

Hi everyone!

I apologize in advance for the length of this, but it should be expected! I also apologise for the rambling nature, but I just wrote this as the images came to mind, so it's not literature.

Well, it's going to be hard to convey all the experiences and laughs I have had in the past two months, but I will attempt to point out the highlights.

We arrived in Madagascar in June and went to the village where we are doing training. The most difficult thing to adjust to at first (coming from New York where the weather was boiling) was the temperature...it is COLD! I know that might come as a shock to those who think, "Well, Madagascar is in the tropics, and the tropics are hot". Well:
1. It is winter in the southern hemisphere,
2. The training site is in the highlands, at over 2000 meters altitude
Even with these conditions, it's not really frigid by temperate zone standards, but it will get down to 10°C at night. However, you must take into condiration there is NO indoor heating! So it can be very uncomfortable at night to put it mildly.

Probably the second thing that required adjustment to was the lack of running water (fortunately the village does have electricity). This means having to use what I suppose in English would be called a chamber pots and outhouses. I should mention Ronda and I were actually placed with the mayor of the village, who has the second nicest house in the village, second to that of the doctor, and she (yes the mayor is a woman!) has a toilet (one of only two in the village). Now, a toilet without running water isn't much of anything, so it's basically a fancy latrine. You have to pour water down after you do your business. Showers are pretty annoying. They consist of filling a bucket with water and using a cup to pour it over yourself. It is brutally uncomfortable with cold water, so you must heat some water before you want to shower.

You might ask where the water comes from, if there's no running water. Well there is a profession here called water bearer, and we have a woman who brings ours from a public tap. On top of that, we have a woman who washes our clothes. That might sound as if we are living in the lap of luxury, but without washing machines, washing clothes is a heavy-duty, time consuming activity. Knuckle callouses definitely do develop.

I think, well beyond the cold and the water situation, both of which I expected, the most difficult thing for me has actually been the fact that at 6:00, when the sun goes down, everyone runs back into their houses and the street is absolutely empty and dark. They do this because they are afraid of animals and 'pamosavi's (women who allegedly cover their bodies with massage oil and make you get on all fours and ride you!). I always feel like I am crawling into my cave. Dinner is at 7:00, and everyone (including us) is in bed at 8:00. It's a good thing we will be going to our permanent site at the end of August, because if I had to live like that for two years, I'd go crazy.

In the house we are living in, aside from the mayor, her husband, and an aunt, is a baby. She is one and a half year old, and she can do everything. I really mean it. She uses the toilet by herself (well the chamber pot, which she allegedly has done since she was several months old), she feeds herself with utensils, and we see her EVERYWHERE in town. One minute she is helping out in the fields, the next she is selling things at the market. Inbetween all that, she finds time to play with various people. She is the most mobile baby I've ever seen. She is also great at imitation. Whatever hand or body motion we do, she will mimic. The only thing she is not so good at is speaking. In fact, I think she is a bit behind in that department compared with other children of her age, but I suppose that she can't be ahead of everyone in everything. She does like to say "bye-bye", however, which she says about twenty times at night, which we can hear as we lay awake, as her room is next to ours. She has a bit of trouble with our names, which are transformed into "Ban" and "Duda".

Another special inhabitant of the village is the dog who likes to sit on roofs. I know many a cat who likes sitting high above everything, but this is the first dog I have encountered with this penchant.

All the animals in the village entertain me, however. At all times of the day there are chickens walking up and down the street, often followed by their young. But beware when a cock comes along. They storm through the neighborhood, trying to capture a chicken. The slowest/weakest chicken falls prey to his salacious clutches. The most amazing thing about the chickens is the fact that they always come home at the end of the day. By home I mean the place where they will eventually be killed and cooked in a soup. Funny, I wonder what keeps them coming back to the same yard. And I also wonder what keeps the humans from stealing each others' chickens. Our host mother, the mayor, asked us if it's the same in the US and I had to explain the concept of fencing chickens in and not letting them wander around for fear someone will steal them.

We had a weird experience the second week we were here. We went on a hike with two of the other trainees here in honor of the winter solstice. We found a clearing in the woods and sat for a while, when four girls came up. They asked us our names and what we were doing. In our very broken Malagasy, we told them that we were celebrating the solstice (we had to explain what that was). They nodded in amazement. Then we wanted to give them something, and we searched what we had, and found a few pieces of twine. We gave them each a piece and they were amazed. I'm sure they went away thinking how strange it was, chancing upon four foreigners in a clearing in the woods who talked about the solstice and gave them string.

Everyone here seems to be a jack-of-all-trades. For example, our host mother is a mayor, but she has been a taylor, a hairstylist, and a teacher in the past. The same goes for the other members of the family and community.

A few of the volunteers started going once a week or so to a small village about a ten minute walk away from our village. It's a very strange place, because there is a very small river right in front of the village, and when you approach the village, dozens of children come running out of the reeds along the river and surround you in swarms. They are terribly dirty, so much so that their faces are white with mud and their hair is sticking out in all directions. They follow you around and stare at you. When you leave the village, they will follow you just until the bridge over the river, and then they will stop, as if the river is enchanted and they are not allowed to cross, lest they leave the spirit world. We call this village the Village of the Damned, and the children, the Children of the Corn, due to the resemblence to these films.

The 26th of June was Malagasy Independance Day. In celebration, our village organized a party in the evening. There was a DJ playing Malagasy music. Ronda and I started dancing, and for some reason, we were the only people dancing. Before we knew it, the entire village was surrounding us, watching us dance. As much as we tried to encourage them to dance, they only continued to watch us dance, and so we started to get into it, putting on a show for them. We were just about to take off our hats and ask for money, when we realized that we are in the PC and it's probably not appropriate.:) It was truly a strange experience.

We had a similar experience when we went to see a cultural performance that was showing in the next village. It was sort of a type of performance art involving music and storytelling. It was rather interesting, and we really got into it, until we realized that a large number of the audience members were looking at US instead of the performers. We quietly made our way out of the crowd after that.

We are having a rather good homestay experience overall, except for the fact that at every single meal, there is a long hair in at least one dish! We have tried to display our displeasure by slowly pulling the hair out of the food, and saying, "Ewwww", but so far it has had no positive effect. Well, it IS a source of protein, I guess.

One thing that is amazing in Madagascar is the fauna. I see trees here that I can only describe as "Jurassic", because they look straight out of the Age of the Dinosaurs.  There is such diversity as well from one region of the country to another. Our training site is in the highlands, which is mountainous and covered with pine-type trees. Our permanent teaching site will be on the coast, which is a much more "tropical" looking environment (palms, etc.)

We have to be on malaria medications for the whole time we are here, to prevent malaria.  There are several kinds, one of which, Mefloquine (which I am NOT on), has a nasty side effect: according to the official sheet "Vivid dreams". I think it's more accurately described as "Vivid nightmares". It is interesting to come to training everyday and hear about the dreams of the people on Mef. from the night before.  I think this is the best one I've heard so far: The volunteer dreamt she had to give herself brain surgery and she cut her head open and then realised she needed a towel to cover her brain. She called her host family to bring one but they couldn't hear.  In the case of these dreams, "vivid" seems to mean that you can't tell if they are dreams or reality. That can be pretty scary, so I'm glad I'm not on that med.

We visited our permanent site for the first time this past week, and it is a totally different world from the training site. If I didn't know any better, I would think it is any quiet beach town anywhere in the world. There are paved streets with LINES on them, and parking spaces! There are sidewalks with tree plantings and sewers! The peoples' clothes matched. I am glad that I spent two months in the training village so that I can appreciate these things now.

If you are curious how they afford such things, it's all summed up in one word: VANILLA. Our site is in the region of the country where the vanilla is grown and it is a very valuable crop. The good quality vanilla sells for 60 dollars a kilo! Unfortunately, of course, most of the money is in the hands of a few select families who own most of the property and industry.

Our house is a simple wooden building, but it is evidently one of the very nicest that the PC volunteers live in. We will have electricity and there is a water connection to a well, which we will have to buy a pump for, but then we will have running water too! The house is maybe 20 meters from the beach, which is amazing. I never thought I would live on the beach in my life! The only downside is that people happen to use this section of the beach as a makeshift toilet: that means there are piles of poop all over the sand. We are going to make it one of our first projects to try to clean up the beach, build a latrine, and construct a sign that discourages people from shitting there. Any suggestions for wording/pictures would be appreciated!

There are many opportunities to speak French as well as Malagasy so I am excited about that. There is also a German dentist in the town (who is the husband of our new landlady), which is really a great coincidence!

I am running out of time, so I'll close here. I will try to post pictures soon, but that will probably happen when we move to our site (end of August). Oh yeah, there's internet access there, so I am much relieved!

Incidentally, if anyone is interested in organizing some sort of fundraising drive to help the students here, or perhaps setting up a pen pal situation with the students, etc, please let me know! I would be excited to plan something.  They are definitely short on books and other materials for learning any subject, so anything anyone could put together would be appreciated. I can give details later.

Please write and keep in touch! We will have a new address as of the end of August, which I will send out soon. It potentially takes a long time for mail to reach Madagascar, so if you do want to send a letter, it might be better to wait until I can send our new address! My phone number is below. And for anyone that is interested in visiting, please come! We will have an extra bed, and it is certainly a unique experience to visit Madagascar. Let me know if you are interested.

Lots of love,

Evan

Back From the Dead!

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 21:37:24 GMT

I'm back from the dead (or at least the nether regions of subterranean-Blogworld). After 39 weeks (officially according to LiveJournal) of reclusive anti-social non blog-activity, I am kicking myself in the arse to get back in the swing. I envy people who can regularly keep a journal/blog with no special effort required. I unfortunately am not to be counted among that amazing crew. I suppose it comes down to discipline, something in which I am sorely lacking. It's like going to the gym; I have to push myself every time.

Anyway I want to keep this blog for the twin goals of keeping updated all those who happen to be interested in my whereabouts and misadventures, and to have something to look back upon in later years, sitting on a rocking chair on my front porch as the sun sets, and laugh about.

I suppose the reason I crawl into my shell and stop writing and calling, etc. is because when I'm having difficult times in my life, I don't want to bring others down. I'd rather be the spreader of happiness and good humour. But looking back now, I realise there are so many absurd and quirky things that have happened in the last seven months that I could have been writing about all this time if I could have forced myself to type out those words. I hope I can remember at least a handful of them to share.

Well for a general update, let me squeeze the events of the last seven months into as few words as possible. When last heard from, I was leaving South Korea in July 2007, headed to work in a language school in Magdeburg, Sachsen-Anhalt, Germany, in the former German Democratic Republic (East Germany, for those less internationally-minded:)) I was invited by a language school that we shall refer to as FM, but not to protect the innocent, because there aren't any, rather to avoid being sued for (libel/slander...which one is for true things?). I was a perfect catch, a real virgin in the world of English teaching in Germany (and experience in Korea doesn't count, it's a totally different system.) In fact, I think this is the way they operate, attracting teachers that are NOT living in Germany at the time, who have no idea of their rights and what is acceptable and not, etc. To make a long story short (I don't want to bore you with details), they sat me down at a table and put a LONG contract in front of me (appx. 13 pages if I remember correctly), and said, "You can take as long as you want to read it, but you WILL sign it today!" (Should that have been a sign to get up and leave?) It turns out the contract basically said that I had to always be available to work for them the whole week, but at the same time, they would guarantee no minimum amount of hours. Basically that would put me in a situation where I had to accept whatever they were willing to offer me, and I couldn't take any other positions at other schools.

Now, it turns out this is illegal, but I didn't know it at the time. I went to work for that company, and found out that the job involved a lot more physical activity than I had realized. In the ad for the position, they had said, "Travel required". To me, this implies a great deal of travel by train, or perhaps bus, and then you get off and walk maybe 5 minutes, and then you're there. No, they meant you have either to take a streetcar for 30 minutes and then walk for another 40 (and you are not paid for your travel time nor expense in this case), or take a train for an hour and then walk 40 minutes (in this case you are paid for your time).

That was all fine and good when I got there, while the weather was pleasant, but as the days turned colder I thought about walking that long in the rain and the cold and the snow, and I wanted to search for other employment. I found a position two afternoons a week helping a professor of interpreting at a university. When I told the original employers that I couldn't work at those times they got very angry and responded that I couldn't do that, and threatened to deduct money from my payment. I then said that in fact I wasn't interested in working there anymore, but offered to continue to work until they could find a replacement. They declined and said they accepted my resignation. In the end, they never paid me for a month of work. If this sounds familiar, it's because I also didn't get paid for 6 weeks of work in South Korea. How is that possible, two times in one year? It was soon after this that I began to believe in bad luck.

My belief in bad luck has been strengthened even more over the past 6 months. In addition to the few hours a week with the interpreting classes, I found a school that was looking for another instructor. This one I shall call BJ. BJ gives week-long seminars in English and Spanish, and they operate out of a Spanish island, let's just pretend it's Ibiza. I was told there would be plenty of work so that I would make enough to survive. At least this had been the case for the last year. Unfortunately this trend didn't seem to continue and I barely made enough to get by. On top of that, there would be times I was scheduled to work, and the participants would cancel at the last moment and I would get no compensation. I was also told I would be able to work some of the weeks in Spain but it never actually happened. Through these experiences, I have made a decision: I NEVER want to be a free-lancer again!!!!

The few times I actually did work at this school, I actually had a great time. Firstly, I LOVE teaching adults as opposed to children and teenagers. And besides, they have a unique methodology. The participants come from 9:00-18:00 every day from Monday to Saturday for one week. They get put into a room I like to call the brainwashing chamber, where they are shown a series of colors and music is played, all of which is supposed to put them in a particular brainwave state where information bypasses the short-term memory and goes directly into the long-term memory. Then they see and hear English phrases one after another, which seem to have no connection whatsoever, something along the lines of, "The sky is clearing up", "My grandmother is young", "I'd like to get a hotel room", etc. Then they have to walk around outside for an hour with the expressions on cards, saying them out loud. The worst part is that there are a number of errors in the system, some more serious than others, but my favorite has to be: English "She's a good lay", with the German translation being "She's a good hostess".

As weird as it may sound, there must be some merit to the whole system, as I definitely see a good deal of progress from Monday to Saturday. Anyhow, that job isn't the most ideal, as they only offer me trainings maybe once or twice a month. Right now, I have another contract for two months, teaching English to the unemployed of Magdeburg . I love my students here, just like all the ones I've had in Magdeburg. They are mostly women between 40 and 60 and they LOVE to talk, which can be difficult from a classroom-management point of view, but great in that I don't have to put too much energy into pulling them out of their shells, which is a major problem with many other students.

I have especially liked living in the former German Democratic Republic (East Germany), because it has been so interesting to speak to my students about their experiences. It is of course interesting to hear about their lives growing up in a society that was in so many ways different from the one I come from and different from the one in which they live today. And I think it is even more interesting because, unlike the people in the other ex-Soviet bloc countries, such as Poland or Hungary, they not only experienced a shock-treatment change of economic system and social organization, but their country literally disappeared overnight. You know I am a world citizen and am very much against identifying oneself with a country, but nevertheless I find it fascinating to see how these people dealt with this change. Although the GDR and the FRG (Federal Republic of Germany) have been one unit since 1990, it would be difficult to say that the East and West Germans are really one nationality. I have heard so many stories, I will have to write them down soon. I would say 99% of the people I have met look back with nostalgia on those days and only talk about the sunny side. Of course there were downsides, such as constant shortages of products and not being allowed to visit countries outside of the Soviet bloc. But I guess compared to the situation today with 20% or more unemployment, and (for those lucky enough to find work) the average wage in Magdeburg being around 800 Euros/month, the idea of guaranteed employment, of making enough money to not have to worry about affording the basic things in life, etc. looks mightily appealing. I think the experience of living in the GDR has made the people here really cool. There were (and continue to be) a number of racist attacks against foreigners shortly after the reunification, when everybody was suddenly unemployed and I guess some people had to find someone to blame. But everybody I've had the good fortune to meet seems to have really taken to heart their upbringing as good socialists, and I think they are some of the least racist/sexist/homophobic etc. people that I've ever met.

Now, I am leaving Germany at the end of May. I will be going back to the States for a few weeks and then in June Ronda and I will be heading off to Madagascar for two years with the Peace Corps. But that's for another blog entry:)

Anyway, that's enough for now; that brings everyone up to date with the latest in Evan's life. I hope to hear from and/or see you before I disappear into Lemur-land.

Adieu Kimchi!

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 08:03:22 GMT

Did you ever have one of those days?....

Did you ever have one of those days when a drunk Uzbekistani woman comes and sits next to you on a late night train and starts speaking slurred Korean and all you can do is nod and say "Ne" ("yes" in Korean)...(you know she is Uzbekistani because she is loudly speaking a foreign language on her mobile and you ask her where she's from in Korean and she replies Uz-be-ki-stan.) and then it turns out that she is actually in the wrong seat, and a Korean man has the ticket for that seat. Then he proceeds to tell YOU that you are in the wrong seat. "No", you protest, brandishing your ticket which clearly states 36D, the seat you are currently occupying. You try to tell him that it is the woman who is in the wrong seat, not you, but he doesn't get it, and goes to find a conductor. The conductor comes and checks your ticket, which is obviously the correct one, and then gently guides the swaying woman to the next car. The Korean man sits down and instead of saying, "I'm sorry about that" or anything in that vein, he says, "I have one question for you---wasn't that your friend?"
Would you want to punch him or push him over the aisle or off the train or do something crazy. I did. I wanted to say, "No you stupid, closed-minded, racist Korean jerk, just because we are both foreigners doesn't mean we are friends (although I certainly would rather be friends with her than you.)" But all this meek, passive-agressive world traveler could get out was, "No, I don't know her".

Did you ever have one of those days when your Korean boss comes out with little pieces of paper to use as tokens to give students when they are well-behaved, and which they can exchange for ice cream at the end of the week? On the paper it says: "1 Talent". Now what would you say in that case. Maybe, like me, you would go to him and say, "You can't say 'one talent', talent is a non-count noun, and cannot take numbers before it. (Actually upon further reflection, that's not true, you can say "His one talent is the ability to do an impression of Britney Spears", etc.) But either way, it certainly doesn't sound right to use the word "talent" in this sense, as a name for a reward. You are rewarded FOR talent perhaps, not given talent AS a reward. It must be "Konglish", I thought. But no, Mr. Lee insisted, you can give one talent as a reward. This argument persisted for about a minute, until he cleared it all up...Yes, people, you CAN give one talent as a reward, when the talent in question is in fact, as Mr. Lee put it "Jewish money"...."Oh", said I, "you mean like a shekel, or a cubit (coudee, codo, Elle)", suddenly understanding, remembering that he is a bible-thumper, moaning at this flagrant slap in the face at the concept of the separation of church and state (yes, that does exist in Korea I believe). This is a public school after all. And anyway, either way you look at it, to use the word like that with Korean elementary school students who can barely emit "Good morning, how are you?" seems a bit less than educational.

These are the kinds of days when your mind starts to stray and fleeting thoughts pass through of leaving Korea and going somewhere else, somewhere more reasonable, such as, oh I don't know, say, hmmm, Germany for example.....which is exactly what I am going to do!

What I mean to say by all of this is....Evan is leaving this place and going back to his favourite continent....that's right, Europe.

I have found a position as an Business English teacher in Magdeburg, Germany. Never mind that I know next to nothing about business, I'm just going to have to cram.

So, all you poor people who didn't have the chance to see me on my last jaunt through the continent, be warned, I am coming to visit you sometime in the next year! I will hopefully stay in Germany for about a year, until Ronda and I go to Africa next June or so to volunteer for two years with the Peace Corps.

I am leaving in two weeks and will be arriving on 21 July in Germany. Wish me luck! And all of you other poor souls who have never left the American (or Asian) continent, come on over and visit me there!

In other news, our grand gala wedding celebration is coming up faster and faster. Let me know if you will be in the States on 22 September and I'll give you the details. Even if you can't attend, go to the following link and sign our guestbook--we like reading comments!

http://weddings.theknot.com/pwp/view/co_main.aspx?coupleid=3243643550278193

For those of you who want to keep track of my adventures in a more visual fashion, please visit the following site, where I am amassing a photo-montage of my life story:) (just a few interesting and especially absurd photos to keep you amused!)

http://www.ringo.com/photos/albums.html?memberId=140203687

Well, I'll leave you with a few more anecdotes about this country before I leave forever without a glance behind.

--One thing I just don't understand is, why the Koreans are afraid of cats. They really think that your average household cat is going to run up and ATTACK you, shedding blood everywhere. They say cats are scary because they are dirty (well yes, the ones in the street are dirty I suppose, but cats are probably the cleanest pet you can have.) Sure, there are some cats that will kill you in cold blood, and they are called lion, tiger, cheetah, leopard, jaguar, puma, among others. But "felix catus", your good old normal housecat will not maim you! There are probably a million reasons to dislike cats, such as the fact that they may not always be in the mood to interact with you, they are pretty resistant to being taught tricks, and they are mighty stubborn. But there is really no reason to be afraid of them. I had a suspicion that there was no equivalent of "scaredy-cat" in Korean, and I'm right...maybe there's "scary-cat"????

--I had a really great weekend, because I went to visit one of my former students who lives near the biggest manmade lake in Korea (don't get too excited, it's not exactly Lake Michigan K-style). But it was a pleasant enough place. The highlight was the Toilet Museum located mysteriously in the park surrounding the lake. It is small underground chamber dedicated to the presentation of "Western Toilet Culture" on one side, and "Eastern Toilet Culture" on the other. I wondered what the correct name for this study would be,... "Occidental Toilology" anyone? The exhibits featured dioramas where little wooden figures, with their trousers down and buts sticking out, demonstrated to the public the use of various historical toilets from around the world, from chamber pots to holes in the ground. There were also photos of special toilets from different countries, but these I didn't find so spectacular. There was the photo of the public toilet in China with no doors separating people, and the urinals in France that were staggered at different heights for different people. But the whole idea of the museum is just fantastic, I think. It really made me hate Korea just a bit less!

--I had the chance to get a look at the list of Korean words that first-grade students are expected to learn to read througout the first year at school. The list was in order, with the first group of words to be mastered during the first month, the second during the second month, and so on. OK, the first few words seemed to make a lot of sense. There were the Korean words for "me", "you", "mom", "dad", "teacher", etc. Seemed logical to me. Then, right after that came "chili pepper", then "leek". Wow, in what kind of place is it necessary for children to learn to read "chili pepper" before they can read "dog", "cat", "house", "car", or any other of a thousand words I could think of. OK, sure, chili peppers are important here, but are they THAT important? You might think maybe the word for chili pepper is more simple than other words in Korean, but it isn't really. The word for rice seems simpler, and even that wasn't before chili pepper!

--The absolute best story I can tell about Korea is about the Heavenly Mother people. Koreans take everything they do seriously, and that includes religion. They are pretty hardcore when they have one. This seems to produce alot of different sects, with slightly bizarre beliefs (N.B. I don't mean to use sect in a negative sense, I think the variety of religious beliefs is wonderful.) I'm sure you have heard of the Moonies, the followers of Reverend Moon? Well, forget about them, the Heavenly Mother wins my heart more than the dear Reverend could ever hope to do! The Heavenly Mother people stand in public places and seem to approach foreigners especially. Maybe that's because Koreans will just ignore them. They seem to be the only people that speak good English. They approach you innocently and ask you if you would mind taking a survey. Sounds innocent enough, right? Well it soon becomes obvious that the survey is a means to talk to you about Heavenly Mother. You probably know the Heavenly Father, as in "Our Father who art in Heaven..." or "Father, Son, and Holy Ghost"??? Well these people told me there is a female counterpart, the Heavenly Mother. While Christians would probably shriek at the idea, I was enticed, because, being the Pagan that I am, it makes perfect sense to me for God to be male and female. They even showed me where in the Bible it referred to a Heavenly Mother. I was convinced, it made perfect sense. Then came the kicker...here I was, thinking the Heavenly Mother was sitting up in Heaven with the Heavenly Father, having themselves a good ol' time together. But no, heaven forbid! She actually lives in Korea, and looks suspiciously like a Korean woman! I know this because they proceeded to show me photos of her attending their services. They even promised me that it says, in the Bible, that the Heavenly Mother will appear in Korea! (Now, friends, I am reasonably sure that the word "Korea" (or any variation thereof) never appears in the Good Book.) But they seemed so convincing that I had to believe it. I really wanted to meet the Heavenly Mother in person, but unfortunately never had the chance. If you don't believe me, check out the Wikipedia article:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Mission_Society_Church_of_God

When I tell other Koreans about the Heavenly Mother people, they invariably have the same response: they quickly say "But that, that's, that's...." and not finding the right word in English, brandish their electronic translator, and quickly type in the Korean. "That's he-re-sy". "Heresy", I respond, "What's heresy? That basically means they don't believe what you believe." But it's funny because they all come up with the same word, "heresy".

To bring that story to an end, I can only quote our good friend Yun Chang Geon, a Korean musician, who, after hearing this story coined a new phrase, a really ingenious one if you ask me: "Heavenly motherfucker". He now uses it profusely.

Keep in touch...peace and love from the East (not for long though),

Evan

Finally, an update...

Wed, 09 May 2007 16:03:25 GMT

I apologize in advance, 'cause this is a long one!

Soooo, it's been a while since I've updated the world as to my status. But the last few weeks have been pretty hectic so I have a good excuse.

First of all, Ronda and I departed on our extraordinary whirlwind European Odyssey towards the end of February. In sixteen days, we visited no less than SEVEN countries. That's France, Belgium, Netherlands, Spain, UK, Germany, and The Czech Republic. In each of these places we were fortunate enough to stay with an amazing friend, each of whom outdid the others in their hospitality and warmth! They truly taught me what it means to be a host. It really made me so happy to be able to see everyone on the Continent again after so many years. The best part is, it felt as if not a day had gone by since I saw each of them. All the friendliness, all the humour was still there. I am indeed proud of myself in my choice of friends around the world:)...There were so many memorable times,...The market of Sabadell, the unphotographable Jesus in Barcelona, Craig's dominatrix-GPS lady, going shopping in the Netherlands, the "Doll room" in Sophie's house, the Jewish-cum-Catholic nun-martyr in Speyer, the statue of the old man pulling a cloth over his genitals as he lay dying in the Winchester Cathedral, the fruitless search for my ancestors in CZ. And did I mention the food??? Oh God, the food....My only regret is that I did not get to see all the people I wanted to visit! Well, next time for sure.

The entire time, however, it seems we were complaining about Korea. Well, I hope complaining is not the right word, because I always try to approach even negative situations with a sense of humour. In fact, after explaining all the negative stuff about Korea, most of my friends responded, "But wait, I thought you were having a great time there; your emails seemed so positive..." Upon reflection, I realised that yes, my email updates painted a rosy picture of life in Korea. But it was laughter through the tears. I guess I don't like to depress people unecessarily, and it's true that most of the stuff that happens here is pretty humorous. But after a while it starts to get less and less funny:)

Basically, living in Korea is good for one thing, and one thing only: you can save up a decent amount of money. But aside from that, you sacrifice so much. Perhaps most importantly, good food. Being in Europe and eating all the amazing, delicious food, made it obvious just what a culinary hell Korea is. I might be able to force myself to eat the cuisine here, but after a while, it starts to really affect my emotional well-being. Hahaha I know I probably sound pretty fat, but maybe food is an important part of my life, and maybe that's ok! Somebody summed it up pretty well when they called Seoul the most provincial capital city / metropolis in the world, food-wise. It is pretty difficult to find any decent foreign food in Seoul, and basically impossible in the rest of the country. And remember, Seoul is a city of 10 million people, the fifth largest city in the world!!! If you go to an "Italian" restaurant, your main choices are "Kim-chi spaghetti" or risotto made with Korean rice. Speking of the rice, somebody told me that it's illegal to import any rice into South Korea, so there is actually a black market for basmati rice! It peeves me so much to go to to an Indian restaurant and be served a curry on top of sticky Korean rice! If you ask a worker in the Indian restaurant for basmati, they lower their eyes and whisper as if it's a secret, to tell you that you must pay extra for such a dangerous request.

If you want anything resembling authentic foreign food, it's easy to know where to go, because all the foreigners are packed into one foreigner ghetto (it's as much a voluntary ghetto as not, but still...) It's called "Itaewon". It's hard for anyone outside of Korea to understand the numerous connotations that the word "Itaewon" brings up in the minds of foreigners of any nationality living in South Korea. After a time, the phonemes in the word itself begin to sound like music, wonderful lush heavenly music. It paints a picture in your mind of beautiful fragrant fields, of waterfalls and lollipops and gumdrops, a magical place indeed! It's a place where you don't have to be stared at every second of every day, where everyone doesn't look the same, dress the same, want to be the same. It's an island of urbanity in the midst of provincialism; it's the closest thing to a neighbourhood that Korea seems to have. Along with the good stuff, though, comes the bad...Itaewon has more than its share of some very strange people. On Saturday nights, it's a mix of macho American army jocks looking for some booty and odd English teachers who somehow ended up in Korea. And the junkies...I just don't get that one...how does a white heroine or crack addict end up in South Korea, when you can't even find marijuana here? Odd, very odd. And it's a dangerous place, by Korean standards. Itaewon is probably the only place in SK where you run the risk of getting your purse stolen or being harrassed by big muscled jerks. The media loves to publicise stories of western people raping and killing Koreans, however rarely that may actually happen. For this reason, Koreans are on the whole terrified of going to Itaewon. But it's the only place in Korea with any amount of character, in my book.

But, I digress. I was writing about our trip. Anyway all in all it was the most amazing f-king time I've had in a good two-three years! And then, back to the land down East...

When we arrived back in Korea we went back to our workplace and the next day headed into the classroom. But we were quickly summoned to the office. Our supervisors sat us down and asked, "How does it feel to be illegal workers?" You see, our work visa had expired while we were in Europe, and we had been under the assumption that our employers were processing another one for us. But it had somehow slipped their minds, and now they were offering us a choice: Either we could work there illegally for a while or pay out of our own pockets to take a "visa run" to Japan. For those who don't know what a "visa run" is: to get a new work visa it is required to leave the country and visit the embassy of the country elsewhere, then re-enter the country with your new visa.

Well, seeing as we didn't like this workplace to begin with, we weren't about to pay our own money to continue working there, so we had to move out. Luckily, Tamara, one of our old co-workers from the English Town, offered us a place to stay. She had left the place on a somewhat bitter note herself (not very uncommon evidently), and she sympathised with our predicament. Tamara has a job teaching at a university about an hour south of Seoul, in a city called Cheonan. Cheonan immediately made an impression on me for one reason: the Public Art. Public art, or the beautification of public space in general, seems to be a very foreign concept in South Korea. It seems that everything is built with functionality over aesthetics. But in Cheonan, there is a large area in front of the bus terminal that comes close to a sort of plaza, with a number of very random statues.

First, there is one of a stuffed animal dog, who is holding a sign that says, "I am hungry, I want to eat a dream." Another is of a female doll with a brace on one leg holding a charity box and a teddy bear. A third one is car in a cage being crushed by a Godzilla-like monster. I'm not sure what the connection is...

Anyhow, I thought this would be an o.k. city to live in, and I found a position teaching English conversation class to university students. I was so excited, no more rude children with snot hanging out of their noses touching me and drinking my coffee!:)...and yes, I do love my students from this position. They are really cool, they have a great sense of humour, the only complaint is they are too shy. They ask me some really funny questions too. For example, they asked me if I have a gun at home. "No! Of course not! Why do you think I do?" I replied. "Well, we thought all Americans had guns."

The massacre in Virginia brought an interesting response. So many students apologized to me for what had happened. I asked, "Why are you apologizing? You had nothing to do with it, and I am sure you would never do such a thing." "Well, the killer was Korean, and we are Korean." They have such a strong concept of race, of "blood" here, that is becoming more and more rare in the West.

So, I was pretty happy in this job. I had to search for an apartment in Cheonan, which was a long and arduous task. One highlight of this adventure was an apartment I saw that had a combination bathroom/kitchen. That's right, that's not a mistake! You could basically sit on the toilet and fry an egg at the same time! Now, I try not to be too picky, but that is just plain disgusting and un-hygenic. But the owner couldn't understand why I didn't want the apartment. I think it is still vacant, unsurprisingly. I had alot of fun afterwards coming up with names for that room...How about "bitchen"?????

Well, I found a great apartment and everything was going well, when all of a sudden, payday arrived, and I didn't get paid! That was about two weeks ago, and I still haven't been paid. I later found out that several of the other teachers had not been paid. In fact one of them had not been paid IN SIX MONTHS!!! Why on earth would she stay there for six months without being paid? The story got more juicy when I learned that she was involved in a lesbian relationship with the boss...But the point is, I was stuck in a big dark den of people not being paid! "HELL NO", I thought, and all of a sudden a new part of Evan began to emerge! Normally I am so uncomfortable in confrontational situations, but now I had no choice. I spoke to the boss and she said, "Wait a few days, I promise I'll pay you." Well the few days turned into two weeks, so I began to threaten them. "If you don't give me my money, I will go to the police, to the immigration officials, to the ministry of labour. I want my money and I will do anything to get it!" So far, still no money, and I have already called a foreigner-help hotline. Hopefully I will be receiving some money soon, because otherwise I will be in big trouble.

Needless to say, all these experiences have soured me on the idea of remaining in Korea. But now I have a different idea...

Because our visas ran-out, we ended up going to Japan for new ones. All I can say is, "Wow!" Japan and Korea are like night and day! Polite and helpful people, good food, people who have an interest in the rest of the world, interesting architecture, gardens,...what more can a Westerner ask for? On the ferry between Korea and Japan, Ronda and I became proficient at telling the difference between Korean and Japanese people. Here are some clues (Note: I do not like national stereotypes, and of course these are not true about everyone in the country (just as not all Americans have guns:), but they're true about enough people to be mentioned):
1. All the Korean women over 60 have permed curly hair, while the Japanese ones have short straight hair.
2. Almost all of the Koreans will stare at you if you look different, while the Japanese refrain from staring.
3. The Japanese seem to have worse teeth.
4. The Japanese have funkier clothes and hairstyles (we saw a Japanese Beyonce and a Japanese Macy Grey on the street among other unique looking characters.) The Koreans are more conservative in their dress. (Except super short skirts are very popular, even in the dead of winter.)

So I just might be Japan-bound in the next few weeks. We'll see; the only down-side is that it is harder to save up money in Japan than in Korea. But maybe I'll find a decent position.

You might be asking, why am I saying "I" instead of "we"....Well, as we were searching for new jobs, Ronda found something very exciting. She is going to Equatorial Guinea to teach English for six months or maybe more! She will be able to come to Korea or Japan every six weeks, so at least it won't be six months that we won't see each other, but still it will be difficult. I am quite jealous that she will get to see Africa before I will; hopefully I will be able to go out there to visit her.

Anyway, that's what's been happening in the ever eventful life of Evan. I will try to get our pictures of Europe, Japan, etc. online, and I'll let you know when I do.

Oh by the way, if I don't have your current address, can you give it to me? I would like to send everyone a postcard or something. (If you haven't received one, that probably means I don't have your address!)

Keep in touch....

Updates

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 15:50:50 GMT

One thing that makes living in a foreign culture all the more fun is the unexpected, embarassing, yet humourous linguistic blunder. My personal favourite from my own travels was something I said while studying in France. I was explaining something about how alot of the ice cream in the States has preservatives in it, so it's not natural. So I said, "Aux Etats-Unis il y a beaucoup de preservatifs dans la glace.", but preservatif means condom in French, so I basically said "In the U.S. there are lots of condoms in the ice-cream."
My latest one came a few weeks ago. One of my favourite foods in Korea is kimbap, which is rice rolled in dried seaweed stuffed with various things such as egg, fishcake, pickled radish, basil, etc. I particularly like tuna kimbap, which is simply kim-bap stuffed with tuna along with the above mentioned ingredients. So Ronda and I were over a Korean man's house for dinner and I told him I love "Chamji kimbap" which elicited a confused/amused look on his face. It turns out that tuna is chamchi, and what I had said, chamji, means "child's penis". Why do these mistakes always have a sexual connotation?
*******************************
In other news, in less than one week, Evan will be making his grand re-appearance on the Continent....Europe, that is. We are going to visit six countries (France, Belgium, Spain, Germany, England, and the Czech Republic) in sixteen days!!! It's going to be quite hectic, but I want to visit as many people as possible. We will be visiting various friends I have made throughout the years, and who know the next time I will be able to see them again! Anyway it is a holiday long-overdue and I am terribly excited!

Implicit Associations Website

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 14:44:05 GMT

Yet another interesting website!

https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/demo/

This one allows you to take a test to determine your implicit associations regarding a number of different concepts, e.g., religion, race, sexual orientation, age, weight, etc. Most people, even the most fair and open-minded ones, have subconcious associations relating one race with good concepts and one race with bad concepts, for example.

I took several of the tests and I must say it is an eye-opening experience, because you see right before your eyes your deepest subconscious associations, and they may not be ones that you would like to admit you have. I would recommend everyone take a few of the tests.

Your Ecological Footprint

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 14:42:42 GMT

Here is an interesting website to check out:

http://www.earthday.net/footprint/index.asp

It measure your "ecological footprint", or how much space is required on the Earth to produce everything you use in your daily life. Apparantly if everyone lived the way I live in Korea, we would need the space of 2.4 Earths. If everyone lived the way I did in Greensboro, we would need 4.1 Earths! How much space do you take up?

How f**ked up the media is...

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 12:48:08 GMT

This past week I have been giving alot of thought to the recent story of Jennifer Strange, the twenty-eight year old woman in California dying of water intoxication. For those who haven't read about it, she was participating in a radio contest entitled "Hold Your Wee for A Wii", in which contestants competed to see who could drink the most water without peeing. The winner would get a Nintendo Wii. This one poor woman ended up going home and dying from too much water. This just makes me sick. I mean, there is something seriously wrong with our society to think that technology like radio is wasted on crap like this. This woman's death was totally a ridiculous, avoidable waste. I mean we have enough stuff to cause peoples' deaths, such as diseases and accidents, etc. Just think about the stuff that could have been put on the radio in the same slot instead of this crap. Maybe something to educate people, to help people, to make peoples' lives better, or to entertain people without putting peoples' lives at risk. I have talked to people about the story, and they have pointed out that she freely chose to participate in the contest and she was a fully functional adult. Yes, this is true, but I am unapoligetically of the opinion that people and groups with power should be held to a higher standard. The radio station has power, in its ability to speak to thousands or million people at once, to disseminate information or disinformation, to influence peoples' opinions, in fact to make the world a better place, or a worse one. The radio station chose to do something that most everyone knows is dangerous and will put your life at risk, and in fact, a nurse called the station while the contest was on the air, and told them that it was a life-endangering activity. In response the DJ's laughed and made jokes about people dying from water intoxication.

It just makes me so angry when I think about the whole situation, and how that woman lost her life, lost all the years ahead of her filled with happiness and sadness and everything else in life. And how cynical and callous people must be to even create a contest like this. And how sick our society is, because this is hardly an anomaly in terms of the stuff that passes for entertainment in the media today. Tonight I drink a toast to all people who die well before their time for no good reason, Jennifer Strange as well as all those young people who died in Vietnam or Iraq, etc.

Lucifer, oh Lucifer...

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 12:45:45 GMT

Ok, to catch up on the last few weeks/months.... Ronda and I got a scooter (moped/motor bike, etc.)! It was something we really need, because our school is an hour walk from the nearest downtown area. Most of the teachers either walk or take a 4-5 dollar cab ride to get there, but that really adds up--say you just want a cafe mocha---that's 5.00 to get there, 5.00 to get back, and 3.00 for the actual coffee...that's 13.00 for coffee!!! It makes more sense when you have a group of people, but for going alone, it's ridiculous. So it made alot of sense to invest in a scooter. It was scary at first to ride, but now we are getting used to it. The worst part is the OTHER drivers. Drivers in Korea are just plain crazy. But a little crazier than most of the drivers are the taxi drivers! And the most crazy of all, are the bus drivers! They will drive their busses as if they were tiny sportscars, weaving in and out of traffic! And when they stop to drop off/pick up passengers, they barely even fully stop! Forget it if you are running to catch the bus--they will speed off without looking back. So with all these big crazy busses around, it can be a little intimidating to ride a scooter, but we're getting more used to it every day. Now all we need are Hell's Angels jackets!

Something I'm not getting used to, however, is the food--EVERYTHING seems to be made with chili and vinegar! (Two of my least favorite foods!) There is an incredible monotony to the cuisine; a very limited range of flavors. However, there are a few things I do like...they eat alot of pumpkin and sweet potato, two of my favourite vegetables. In paritcular, they make a pumpkin porridge that I find really tasty--it's a rice porridge with pureed pumpkin in it! I also like kimbab, which is kinda like sushi rolls but instead of raw fish, they have radish, tunafish, ham, and assorted other stuff inside. There are two things that the Koreans eat that Westerners might find disgusting...dog soup (I haven't tried it yet), and worst of all, silkworm larvae!!! You can see little old women on street corners with a large vat of steaming, popping, silkworm larvae...evidently the children love them! But they smell soooo bad! I tried one just to be able to say I did it, and it tasted like grass. So the smell is alot worse than the taste, but I wouldnt say it tasted particularly good either!

The kids in our school get to choose their English names, and as I said before, they have some pretty silly ones, such as Spongebob and Harry Potter. You'll get lots of ones like "Crazy", "Killer", etc. But one this week really gets the award...it was a girl named Lucifer. Every time I had to call on her, I couldn't keep myself from laughing! I asked her where she got her name, and she said that she read in a book that it meant "Venus", and she thought that would be a beautiful name.

Can't find a cozy spot!

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 12:44:18 GMT

Once thing I really hate about Korea is the utter lack of anywhere that I would label "cozy"...the energy here is so different from what I am used to at home. In the US/Canada, and in Europe, Israel and Jamaica and everywhere I have been, I have always found little nooks and crannies, little streets or alleys or gardens or houses or rooms, that have had a vibe, an aura, an energy that made me feel right at home. Especially at night, the energy really affects me...there's nothing like driving or walking down a residential street at night and seeing the warm light emanating from everyone's windows. It looks so cozy and inviting inside. Or, for example being in a house at night that is lit only by candles. It's really amazing what an effect certain kinds of light can have. Anyway, here in Korea there is nowhere cozy. God how I miss historic houses....how I miss houses that look DIFFERENT from each other. Here the urban landscape consists of rows upon rows upon rows of block apartment buildings, the same design, the same f**king colours...beige and beige and beige. They all look the same!!!! Nothing here is older than fifty years or so. And it's all ugly. There are very few buildings with unique architectural features. And it's all so cold. The designs are cold, lots of metal. And the lights....here they use primarily flourescent lighting everywhere, which is good on one hand because it's significantly more efficiant. But if you look at a block apartment building at night, you see all this glaring, cold light. The cars are the same, too...they are all black, white, and silver. Occaisonally, only very occaisonally, you will see a blue or green, or maybe even a red car, and it will be like a burst of happy colour on such a dull background!
Goddess, I would love to curl up with a coffee, a cigarette and a book on a patio overlooking a garden, lit by candlelight, attached to a craftsman bungalow.

Marital Bliss In Hanguk

Tue, 17 Oct 2006 04:56:05 GMT

Hey guys and gals! Here's an update on the last several weeks in the life of Evan!
Ronda and I got married on September 22. I was amazed by what a beaurocratic legality it was...we went to the American embassy, where we filled out a marriage application...they then proceeded to stamp it about 5 times, and told us to go to the Korean ward office. We took the application to the ward office, where a woman went into a stamping frenzy and stamped it about a million gazillion times (they LOVE to stamp in Korea....ahhh, reminds me of Europe!)...then we took the paper BACK to the American embassy, where they STAMPED IT ONE OR TWO MORE TIMES, handed it back to us, and said, "Congratulations, here's your certificate."....THAT'S IT! There wasn't a tinge of "Do you take this woman....blah blah blah." No ceremony, nothing, just STAMPING....
We were married along with two American soldiers who were marrying what we think were prostitutes...very romantic, eh? (Oh crap, I'm starting to talk like a Canadian, thanks to all my Canadian colleagues.)
Speaking of our colleagues, they have been so wonderful...they threw us TWO parties, a bachelor(ette) party, and a wedding party! Then, they bought us a night at a really swank, posh, luxurious hotel in Seoul...it was the nicest hotel I have ever been to!
After working another week, we had a week off for Chuseok, the "Korean Thanksgiving"...it is a holiday when almost all Koreans return to the village of their ancestors, so Seoul literally empties out! We took the opportunity to take a mini-honeymoon to Jeju Island, which is supposed to be the "Korean Hawaii"...
Now, before I go any further, I am really glad I didn't write this mass-email before we went to Jeju...I had been in Bundang for a month, and had formed all sorts of opinions about Korea based on that city. Many people go to Paris and think that Paris is representative of France...but it is a world away from the less cosmopolitan areas of that country. Same with New York; it is hardly a mini version of the US. So now I have seen two sides of South Korea and I am really glad.
Bundang is supposedly the richest city in South Korea. It is very westernized and flashy (you will recall my last email about neon!)...the people are very cosmopolitan and they dress very fashionably. It seems they are trying to be something they are not. They seem to be obsessed with physical appearances, and judge each other based solely on that. Also life is very hectic here...the buses pull up really fast and stop only for a split second. They won't wait for you to run up to the door, but rather they will just speed away, spraying their exhaust in your face. People here aren't very interested in foreigners either. In a way I sometimes feel as if we don't exist to them.
Several people have asked me if Korea is a beautiful county. I would say there are some areas that I would classify as pleasant, but not much that is truly striking. We took the train from Seoul (in the very north of South Korea) to Mokpo (in the very south), before taking the ferry to Jeju. I can describe the landscape very simply: rice paddy, small city, small mountain, rice paddy, small city, small mountain, rice paddy, small city....do you sense a pattern? And I am really not exaggerating!!!
So I am so glad we visited Jeju Island. While it may not be exactly on the same level as Hawaii, it really is a beautiful place. Korea is SUCH a crowded country, yet on Jeju there were open spaces...I think it was the first time I had breathed truly fresh air or been in the open in a month! There is a volcano in the middle of the island, and the lanscape is very varied...there are many beautiful photo oppurtunities.
But the best thing about Jeju was the people. They were so different from the people in Bundang. They were laid-back, friendly, hospitable. They actually treated us like human beings. I will give two of the best examples:
We were looking for a restaurant that served abalone porridge (a specialty of Jeju Island)...we went into a random shop and pointed to a picture of the porridge in our tourist guide book. At first, the woman tried to give us directions verbally, but when she saw that we didn't understand, she actually WALKED us five blocks to the restaurant....I couldn't believe it! We went into the restaurant, which was run by three women. None of them spoke English, and of course we don't speak much Korean, so we had a hell of a time communicating. We had to look up EVERY word in our phrasebook. But they were so cool, one of them came and sat down with us and was so patient as we explained what we wanted. Over the course of the evening they all came and sat down with us and we somehow managed to have a really great time, with lots of laughs, despite the language barrier. We went back to the same restaurant the next evening, and they were delighted to see us again! We got their names and address, so we are going to write them a letter.
The next day, we rented scooters and drove around the island (which was really really fun!)...we were sort of lost at a certain point and didn't know which road we were on, so we stopped in a shop to ask the road number. Mind you, all we wanted was the name of the road. They didn't speak any English, but they first tried to give us directions to where we were going in Korean, and when they saw we didn't understand, they CALLED THEIR DAUGHTER-IN-LAW (who spoke English) to come over and help us! While we were waiting, they sat us down and served us coffee and asian pears. I was astounded, I mean we had never seen these people in our lives. Their daughter in law came over and told us how to get where we were going, and we asked her for their address so we can write them a thank you letter.
On Jeju, we were greeted many times by children hanging out of car windows saying, "Hello! How are you!" It's amazing that every child on the island knew those two things in English.
One weird thing was that nobody seemed to speak English. I say it's weird because Jeju's main industry is tourism, so they must get a fair number of foreigners. But very very few people we met spoke any English. Ironically, the only person who DID speak English was a mentally-disabled man who walked around the streets of the town all day. He spoke English and he asked us our names and where we were from, etc. but unfortunately he wasn't able to help us find anything we needed.
Near our hotel, we found this really awesome bar called "Milano"...I have no idea why it had an Italian name, because nothing about it was Italian. It was totally a time machine straight out of the early seventies. All the decorations and sofas and tables had to have been originals and it must have never changed in more than thirty years. To complete the mood, they played mellow Korean AM radio/Singer-songwriter type songs from the time period on the speakers. I LOVED this place! I mean, if there ever was a pub that I could ever be a regular at, THIS IS IT!!! I only wish there were a place like that near where we live!!!
So all in all, our time in Jeju was really nice. But now we are back at work, which is not really a bad thing either. I will close with two comments about our life at the school.
Firstly Koreans love to put random English words on EVERYTHING. And when I say random, I mean TOTALLY random. We have a bathmat that says, "I feel much better today"...a coffee shop we drank at in Jeju had "Espresso of street very happy and mellow surprise" written on the wall. We call these examples "Engrish"...but the best overall are the T-shirts that some of the students wear.. The two best were one T-shirt a boy was wearing that said, "Purefucking Canadian"...and a girl had one that said, "Slippery When Wet"! When asked where she got the shirt, she answered that her mother had bought it for her.
And for those of you who miss Crazy Conversations, try this on for size...in English, when somebody asks you a negative question that is true, you reply "no", to indicate that it is correct. In Korean, you reply "yes"...this leads to come confusion:
Evan: What is your English name?
Student: Spongebob.
Evan: Where did you get that name?
Spongebob: Huh?
Evan: Who gave you the name...your teacher didn't give you it?
Spongebob: Yes.
Evan: Yes? Your teacher gave you the name Spongebob?
Spongebob: No!
Evan: So your teacher DIDN'T give it to you?
Spongebob: Yes!
Evan: He did?
Spongebob: No!
As you can tell, this type of conversation can go on forever, but being the master teacher that I am, I segue into a mini-lesson about how this feature of English differs from Korean. Just one of the many bizarre moments I experience every day....Oh, and yes, there really is a student named Spongebob...no, make that at least 10 students every week named Spongebob....and another dozen named Harry Potter. And those aren't even the strangest!

Greetings from the land of Kim-chi + Weird Conversations 3

Tue, 17 Oct 2006 04:55:26 GMT

Ronda and I are in South Korea teaching English to sixth grade students. The facility is really cool. It is sort of a camp where they come and stay overnight for a week, and then a new group comes. All the sixth graders in the city get to come in the course of a year. While they are here they are supposed to be immersed in English language and culture. All the rooms have a different theme, from post office to travel agency to clinic to television studio to clothing store, etc. And they really look like those places. It's amazing. At the same time as teaching useful English, the school also wants to focus on issues like the envioronment, human rights, gender inequalities, etc. That is part of what brought Ronda and me here. The conditions are very good. In addition to our salary we get our room, food from Monday to Friday, and the flight from the USA and back. Plus if you stay a year, they give you an extra month's salary!

Korea is very interesting. One thing that really struck me the first day (or rather night) was the amount of neon. They LOVE neon here! In the main square, at night, it looks like daytime because of the amount of neon! The scariest thing is the churches...all the churches have big red neon crosses on top! It looks Satanic!!! Another thing I have to mention is Kim-chi...if you don't know what that is, it is cabbage that is covered in chili paste and allowed to ferment (spoil) for a month! I can't say I care for it that much, but they serve it at EVERY meal!!!! And I mean EVERY meal--even if you go to an Italian or Mexican restaurant, they will serve you kim-chi!!! Aside from those things there are a number of small differences in the culture, such as: they only give you one menu at restaurants, even if you have two or three people. They don't believe in drinking water during the meal, they drink it AFTER. (And I'm someone who drinks alot of water during the meal.) But the people seem really nice and helpful and they have a good sense of humor, which is important for me!

The students are especially amusing. First of all, they are sooo well behaved compared to American students! Of course, they will get hyper and talk all the time, etc. But they never disrespect the teacher. We have a system of stickers for behavior--we give red stickers for good behavior and blue stickers for bad behavior. And it actually works!!! American kids would LAUGH at stickers, but if you say "red sticker" they will all raise their hands to answer the question you are asking! And if you say "blue sticker" they will all be quiet and sit in their seats....it's really really weird!!!! They call all the teachers "Teacher", no matter what your name is, and they treat the teachers like celebrities. When we are walking down the corridor, every student we pass will wave and say "Hello teacher!" with enthousiasm.

Anyway there are numerous times each day when something funny happens that I would love to share with someone, but I can't remember all of them. I will close with the following conversation that I had with my students today:

Evan: What are some differences between the Korea and the US?

Student 1: People in the US are taller, have blonde hair and blue eyes.

Evan: I introduced you to Ronda yesterday. Did she have blonde hair?

Student 2: (Automatically) Yes....(pauses a second and thinks)..no!

Evan: Did she have blue eyes?

Student 2: No.

Evan: OK, there are people in the US of all colors, heights, eye and hair color, etc. For example, do you know about Margaret Cho? She is of Korean ancestry.

Student 3: Yes. But she's not really American.

Evan: Well, she was born in the USA and she has American citizenship, an American passport, she speaks English.

Student 3: But she has Korean blood.

(I then proceeded to talk about the history of the US, how all the citizens there are descendents of immigrants. Even the Native Americans came from Asia thousands of years ago. And everyone else came much more recently. First the Europeans, who brought Africans, and then Asians.So I might have "European blood" but I was still born in the USA and was raised in that culture (For those of you who know me well, of course I really was meant to be born in Europe, but never mind that now!) We also talked about TV shows and how they make everyone in the US look white, but that isn't true. We discussed it for about 20 minutes. Afterwards I asked:)

Evan: OK, so let's make a chart. One side USA, the other Korea...let's first talk about how people look in the US versus in Korea.

Student 4: In Korea people have dark hair and dark eyes. In America, people are taller, have blonde hair and blue eyes, and lighter skin.

SHEESH! And tommorow, we are going to discuss the following points

1. Everyone in the US speaks English.

2. Everyone in the US is Christian.

Like Webster's dictionary I'm Korea-bound!

Wed, 06 Sep 2006 23:18:33 GMT

The past few weeks have been quite hectic, what with preparing to move to Korea. I will try to recount some of the highlights.

It's just my luck that, not even three weeks before we were to depart, I was involved in an auto accident while delivering Chinese. Luckily, probably due to the fact that SAABs are such AWESOME cars, I suffered no bodily injuries and my car was unharmed except for the passenger's side door being crushed in and a piece breaking in the wheel. It was this last thing that caused me to be out of delivery service for over a week because the wheel wouldn't turn. Luckily Greensboro has a really amazing mechanic named Jose who works on High Point Rd., who does good work for very low prices (and he has a SAAB himself, so I know he is good at fixing them!)...I love the place Jose works in, it is like a mini-UN -- there are about five garages in one building and each one has a mechanic from a different country. Jose himself is from the Domincan Republic, and the others are from Africa, Jordan, and somewhere in East Asia. There are always random people from various countries just hanging around for no apparant reason. It's hard to believe this place is in Greensboro! So I took my car there and Jose said it would be a few days (the downside to this place is they work on a different schedule than American places--alot slower:))

So I asked Jose if he might have a car that I could borrow until he could fix mine. He thought for a second and said, "Yes, there is a car I am trying to sell, but you can use it until someone wants to look at it." I was so happy at his generous offer so I took the car and drove home. Sure it was an old hoopdie, but beggars can't be choosers, right? So I got home and went around the car to walk into the house, when out of the corner of my eye, I saw IT!!! Right on the rear bumper, in large bright letters, a bumper sticker that said "Bush Cheney 2004"!!!!! I was horrified. That night I had to deliver, and the whole night I couldn't take my mind off of the bumber sticker on the car I was driving. Never in my wildest dreams had I thought I would be driving around with one. I thought I caught some people giving me dirty looks, but it could have been my imagination. I fantasized that I was in that TV show where they put the Minuteman guy into an immigrant family, or the homophobe into the gay family, etc. I was being put into a Republican car. By the end of the night I couldn't stand it anymore, so in a blind fury I ripped the bumper sticker off! I figured Jose hadn't even noticed it on there, so it wouldn't be missed. And I was right. I returned the car a few days later, and he sold it that very day. I was happy to have my car back, albeit with a f-ed up door.

We headed down to Florida with the car like that and every time we stopped to eat or to heed nature's call, Ronda would have to climb through the driver's side door across to the passenger's seat. The top of the door didn't close flush with the top of the car so everytime it rained, water would come flooding in. We covered it with sheets of plastic which came off shredded by the time we got to Fla. I was annoyed but happy that I still had a car that actually worked.

After we visited Ronda's family in Florida, we flew to Chicago and took a train out to San Francisco to stay with two of her friends for a few days. We met an assortment of interesting (read: weird) people on the train. There was one man we started a conversation with in the lounge car who seemed cool enough for about a half hour, until we mentioned something about California, where he lives. He replied, "You mean Mexifornia?" after which he went on a half-hour rant about how horrible illegal immigrants are, how they are stealing American jobs and lowering everyone's wages. We listened speechless while he ranted, and then went on to explain that he had once been a leftist, he had even been in SDS. But after he saw the Soviet Union collapse, he realised that Ronald Reagan had done it single-handedly, and thus Reagan became his hero. Whether Reagan deserves all the credit is very questionable, and even if he had alot to do with it, it was because he took money away from every social service to constantly increase funding for the military, which is a pathetic reason for him to be anyone's hero. But anyhow I veer off...after the guy explained how he had escaped the "brainwashing" of the left, we excused ourselves. But that very night I overheard another group of people discussing how immigrants are ruining everything for Americans. I just don't get it. How can you blame Pedro who is risking everything to come to another country to work his ass off just to make money to provide for his family? How can you blame him for the loss of your job and not the asshole who is paying him shit wages and driving away in a BMW? Why is all the anger directed towards the immigrants???

We also met a woman in the roomette next to ours who was traveling with her two small children. The children seemed incredibly well behaved and we were impressed until she explained that she gives them Nyquil every few hours. When her daughter began to get restless, she said, "You'd better behave or else Mommy will have to put some Nyquil in your juice!

There was a guy sitting behind us in coach who would call up people on his cell-phone and then proceed to curse them out, saying "f- you" really loudly so everyone could hear him. He did this repeatedly, at least 5-10 times.

We spent a few hours in Chicago before we boarded the train, and I was really impressed by how nice the people there were. I normally think of big-city people as cosmopolitan and cold, in a hurry to get somewhere with no time to pay attention to you, but the people there seemed really authentic and friendly. The train ride itself, aside from the myriad of crazy people, was really cool because it was the first time Ronda and I had seen the western part of the country, and some of the views were really breathtaking. San Francisco was nice, and it somewhere we are considering living. I wasn't so crazy about the downtown area, as I really don't like very urban environments, but there were several parts of the city that seemed really cozy, such as Laurel Heights, Haight-Ashbury, and the Castro. The view from the Golden Gate Bridge was especially moving.

And now we are in South Korea. The school we are at is really really cool--I'll have to describe it in some detail in my next post. But I am tired now, still suffering from jet-lag, so I will close

The Fall Line continued...

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 06:14:15 GMT

So I set out on my first attempt to see the Fall Line. I drove for an hour and a half through rolling countryside, woods, farms, industrial areas, and then the land started to get less and less hilly. All of a sudden, before I could realise it, I found myself already in the Coastal Plain. The land stretched flat in all directions around me! What had happened? There was no sudden drop in elevation, no jaw-dropping view, nothing. In fact there was no spot I had passed that I could identify as the Fall Line.
So after exploring the area a bit, I turned around and headed back home, thinking it might be easier to spot the Fall Line coming from the other direction...of course, I thought, it would be more visible looking from a flat area than from a hilly one. But alas, I had the same problem on the return trip. I rolled along through the Coastal Plain, when all of a sudden, I realised that the land had started to undulate alot more.
Damn, I thought, this Fall Line is an elusive son of a bitch!!! And over the next six years I tried many times to find the exact spot. I came close, and narrowed it down to within a mile or two in many places, but even then, there are few places where you can actually see the transition from one spot. I began to believe that somebody had lied when they came up with the term "Fall Line"...the word "line" implies a spot that is so exact that you can stand with your feet on either side of it. A political boundary, for example, fits that description. This seems more like the "Fall Zone" or something along those lines.
I began to think that my endless search for the Fall Line represents something bigger, maybe the fact that many things in life and nature cannot be pinpointed exactly or deliniated with certainty.
I soon moved on to other searches...searchers for other lines, such as the "Sweet Tea Line" (the point where they stop serving pre-sweetened iced tea as a standard option at restaurants...it's somewhere in the middle of Virginia), and the lines demarcating the accent changes from North Carolina to New Jersey. But, just like the Fall Line, they are all quite elusive.

My Romance with the Fall Line

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 06:13:14 GMT

Ever since I moved to NC six years ago, I have come across the term "Fall Line" many a time. I quickly gleaned that it must be something really important to North Carolinians, given how often it is mentioned in descriptions of the state. It appears in guide books, history books, and books about the geography/topography/geology of the state. For those less informed I will explain:

North Carolina is divided into three topographical regions: The Coastal Plain, the Piedmont, and the Mountains. The Coastal Plain is a relatively flat area stretching 100 miles in from the coast. In the middle is the Piedmont, a gently rolling plateau. Finally in the west are the mountains, which consists of the Blue Ridge and Smokey Mountains.

The Fall Line is the border between the Piedmont and the Coastal Plain. In all the maps it is drawn as a thin line that makes its way north to south in a gently curving fashion. Its name derives from the fact that at this line, rivers flow from the hard rock of the piedmont onto the softer rock of the coastal plain, and thus have a series of rapids. It is on this line that early cities developed for two reasons: One, because the rivers were navigable only up to this point (furthur upstream the rivers are full of dangerous rocks and rapids), and thus goods had to be unloaded from boats and loaded onto land transportation. Two, the rapids provided a good source of power for burgeoning manufacturing centers. Cities are strung along the Fall Line like pearls on a necklace, from New York City to Augusta, GA.

After reading so much about the Fall Line, I decided it must be an amazing place to see. I imagined there would be a roadside area labeled "Scenic View", where I could park and see a beautiful vista, dramatic cliffs rising above the flat plain with water cascading down, etc.

I soon set off on my first attempt at seeing the Great Fall Line...

Crazy Conversations

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 06:11:23 GMT

Another crazy conversation at the Chinese restaurant. I was discussing with the Chinese cook the fact that Ronda's car broke down.

Cook: I'll buy it for 1000 dollars.
Evan: No, that's ridiculous, it's too little! Ronda still owes 7000 on it!
Cook: It's not worth more than that.
Evan: Yes it is. The Blue Book says it's worth 6000. Do you know what the Blue Book is?
Cook: Yes, I know what it is. But THAT's a very good car, the Blue Book.
Evan: Huh?
Cook: Ronda's car is a Volkswagen. The Blue Book is worth much more. It's a very good car.
Evan: The Blue Book? But that's not a car!
Cook: Yes it is...Vol--Vo...Vol-vo
Evan: Oh! You're saying Volvo!
Cook: Yes, Volvo! Volvo is a very good car.
Evan: I'm not talking about Volvo. I'm talking about the Blue Book. Do you know what that is?
Cook: Yes.
Evan: It's a book, like a book you read from.
Cook: Yes, very good book.

2 Good Things About Amerika

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 06:06:39 GMT

Hey, there are two things I've recently realized I appreciate about the USA (I'm posting this to balance out the negative comments regarding said country.):

1. The fact that there are so many cultural, linguistic, religious, racial, ethnic groups living here, and that there is officially no dominant, superior group. Of course, we all know rich white men have been in charge for all of the history of the country, but it is really cool that every other group believes they have equal rights, or that they should have them!
2. The fact that we can take home "doggy bags" if we have not finished all our food at a restaurant. Why is it you can't do that in other countries???

Israel 2

Thu, 13 Jul 2006 05:21:43 GMT

I forgot to mention that in Israel, two people of different religions are not allowed to get married. If a Jew and a Christian, or a Jew and a Muslim, etc. want to get married they have to go to Cyprus or some other country to be able to be wed!!! What kind of place is that?

Israel

Thu, 13 Jul 2006 05:21:02 GMT

It has been two weeks since Ronda and I got back from our trip to Israel, and I am only now writing because I needed sometime to sort out my feelings. On one hand, there was alot of cool stuff, such as the food (it was really fresh and delicious almost everywhere), and the scenery (there was an amazing canyon we visited called Ein Avdat, it was breathtaking, really spiritual.) There were also a bunch of funny and memorable things that happened. But I am having alot of negative feelings about it right now.

Basically, the trip was free, but the price we paid was to listen to alot of brainwashing propaganda. They wanted to convince us to support Israel financially and morally, and to move to Israel, and (this is one I wasn't expecting) to find someone on the trip to marry and produce more Jewish babies. (According to the guy in charge of the tour company there aren't enough Jews in the world. I'm more convinced it's a demographic "problem" of the Arab birthrate in Israel being higher than the Jewish birthrate, and therefore they need to import more Jews to maintain control.)

For those of you that don't know, Israel has a law that says that all Jews in the world have the right to "return" to Israel and become a citizen immediately. (Someone said within 36 hours I believe.) This is something I am really wrestling with morally. It really disturbs me to think that I am being encouraged to move to this country that I had never visited before and become an instant citizen, that I have a "right" to do this, just because I was born Jewish, while so many Palestinian Arabs who were themselves (or their parents or grandparents) born and grew up on that land cannot return to their villages (which are now demolished anyway) and instead must live in refugee camps. No matter how you look at the Israel/Arab conflict, there is no question that a great injustice was commited against the inhabitants of Palestine, and what really irks the hell out of me is how Israel manages to present itself to the world as the victim!
I mean on top of the fact that the Zionists basically stole the land from the Palestinians, this is a state that elevates one religion/ethnic group above others, this is Ethnic Cleansing and Apartheid. I mean it is quite similar to the situation in South Africa, and everyone knew that was wrong. (I suppose one big difference here is that the Jews had a history of persecution themselves in Europe so they can use that as an excuse, which the whites in South Africa didn't have). We had a mass movement in our own country forty or fifty years ago to combat such things as segregated schools, and Israel still forces Jews and Arabs to attend different schools. My big question to the leaders of Birthright Israel is, aside from all the issues of injustice and human rights violations, WHY would I want to live in a place with only Jews, why would I want to give up my friends of many colors and creeds and backgrounds and instead be surrounded by people of one ethnicity and religion???? It's going to take ALOT to convince me of that!

Odd conversations

Fri, 07 Jul 2006 20:46:34 GMT

Sometimes at work at the Chinese restaurant, I feel as if I'm in the Twilight Zone. I mean the conversations can be a little bit odd at times. Some examples:

Chinese cook: Do you watch football (soccer) Evan?
Evan: Yes. I think Germany was playing the other day.
Cook: Yes. Italy was playing.
Evan: Do you know if Germany won or lost?
Cook: Italy won.
Evan: Yes, but did Germany win or lose?
Cook: Yes.

Cook from El Salvador: I'm going back to El Salvador forever in eighteen months.
Evan: Eighteen months? Why eighteen months?
Cook: Eighteen months.
Evan: Yes, but why eighteen months?
Cook. Eighteen months. I'm going back forever in one year and a half.
Evan: Yes, but why not one year, or two years...why eighteen months?
Cook: Yeah man, eighteen months.

Adventures in Chinese Food

Fri, 09 Jun 2006 05:36:52 GMT

I am currently working at a Chinese restaurant in Greensboro, as a driver and all-around help. When I am not delivering I basically do anything they ask me to, from serving the eat-in customers to chopping and peeling vegetables, to washing dishes. I really like working here, because it is so off the chain.
I love the laid-back atmosphere. The restaurant is run by a Chinese couple who are both my age, and they have a 4-month old baby. The baby is always at the restaurant because they they can't find a permanent babysitter. And when I say the baby is at the restaurant, I mean ALL over the restaurant...I never know when I will turn around and step on the baby! Half the time they keep her in her bassinett on the kitchen floor, and rock her with their feet while they are cooking. Then sometimes they put her in the storage room for peace and quiet so she can sleep. You can imagine my surprise when I went in the storage closet to get some plastic containers and instead I found the baby in her bassinett on top of a box of duck sauce!
When the restaurant is not busy, the woman will take the baby into the dining area and either sit and eat at the same time as the customers or sometimes even sit at the table with the customers and start a conversation. I just love this informality--where else would you find that?
The informality extends to the kitchen as well. The husband and this other guy who works there from El Salvador will light up cigarettes and smoke while they are peparing the food!
Another crazy thing is the calulator they have at the counter where the customers pay. They don't use the cash register to figure the change, instead they use the calculator. The only thing is, it is the most confusing thing I have ever seen! I mean, on a normal calculator you type a number in then press plus and then another number and then equal, right??? On this calculator, nothing means what it says! I have just barely figured out how to add amounts, but I have yet to learn subtraction. I mean it seems that to subtract you type one number and then the subtract key and then another, and then you press plus! But then if you try to subtract another number from the total, it gives some random crazy number. Forget trying to figure tax out! I have definitely been practicing my arithmetic skills because I basically have to do everything in my head!
One thing I really love about working there is the conversations we have in the kitchen. Firstly, the linguistic issues can be really interesting, as we have three different native languages! We are always talking about differences between the US and China. The other day they asked me a burning question...."Evan, please tell us...why do Americans hate MSG? Everyone in China eats it!"...then upon further reflection they said, "Actually, it is just Americans over 50 that hate it, no one our age ever says "No MSG please"!" I really didn't know how to respond.
The husband is teaching me Chinese. I have learned how to say "I want small shrimp" among other things. We listen to Chinese music while we are working.

Crappy Apartment Complex Design

Fri, 09 Jun 2006 05:35:19 GMT

Dear Mr. Big-shot Architect,
I just wanted to write to you to offer a little friendly criticism about your beautiful, luxurious new apartment complexes, which are springing up all over the place. On a positive note, they are indeed very pretty, and the landscaping is gorgeous. But, more importantly....are these complexes designed for humans? I am a delivery driver. I currently work for a Chinese restaurant, but I have also delivered for several pizzerias. There are several problems with your apartment complexes. First of all, were you trying to go for the "maze" concept when you designed them? There is no logic or order to the placement of the the roads/parking lots and the buildings. It's not like the buildings go in any particular order, such as numerical....and then there's the system of numbering. Why is it, in some of your complexes, each building has a different address number, and in the other complexes, the whole complex has one address, and each building has a number or letter? And then there's the numbering of the apartments themselves. In some of the complexes, EACH APARTMENT has a separate address, and in others, each apartment has a letter. Then there's the order of the apartments within the building. Some buildings have ABCD on the first floor, and then EFGH on the second, etc. Other buildings have AB on the left hand side of the first floor, then CD on the left hand side of the second floor, then EF on the left of the third, then GH on the right side of the first floor, etc. In some cases, I have to run around the building, up and down, in and out, just figuring out the numbering pattern!
That is, if I am delivering during the day. If I have the misfortune of delivering to one of your complexes at night, then I cannot find the building at all. This is because, although you have very beautiful decorative lighting illuminating key shrubs and trees throughout your communities, the address numbers on the buildings are tucked away in obscure corners and shrouded in darkness.
So all in all, I am wondering what your priorities are when you design these complexes...certainly not making it easy for visitors and delivery people to find the people they are searching for. Maybe it's to keep out burglars....a necessity, since the gates that are supposed to do that never work evidently!
Thank you for your kind attention!
Sincerely,
Evan Zelezny